When I started chemo, I cut my hair 10 inches.
I did this for a variety of reasons, some include: to prepare myself for losing my hair and to donate my hair to another cancer patient.
When I first found out I had cancer, one of my first questions had to do with losing my hair as it was something I was so scared to lose.
I decided to get a wig early on.
As treatment progressed my hair fell out more and more.
To say that was hard is an absolute understatement.
I particularly remember one shower.
Normally showering something I do to relax, to escape and to be alone. I often find showers soothing and I tend to stay inside for at least thirty minutes. I know you're probably thinking "What can someone do inside a shower for thirty minutes?" Well, to be honest, I sit on the floor and enjoy the hot pressure on my back. I reflect and I enjoy the peacefulness of the water hitting the marble floor.
However, this shower sucked as the first strands of hair began to fall.
At first, I thought, "Okay, this doesn't seem so bad, hopefully it will stay like this," but it soon turned into "OMG, my hair is coming out with each step I take!!"
I knew this would be an emotional experience because since my diagnosis I was anticipating this day.
When the doctor said, "you have cancer," I immediately asked, "Well does that mean I'll lose my hair too?"
My hair fell out exponentially. It went from little cute strands to thick scary clumps.
I noticed more and more that I can no longer wait because there will soon be no more hair on my head.
I couldn't watch this anymore, it was too emotionally painful for me.
I decided it was time to shave my hair with the support of my siblings: Andrea & Mike, Harley & Linds, and my fiancé John of course!
Har and Ang also shaved/cut their hair and we turned a shitty experience into a really cool and fun one (click here to watch).
As of right now, I feel pretty comfortable in my own skin and I can only hope that it stays this way.
I pray that I can continue to wake up each morning and feel okay being bald.
Anyways, if you ask me, bald is the new beautiful.