When I started chemo, I cut my hair 10 inches.
I did this for a variety of reasons, some include: to prepare myself for losing my hair and to donate my hair to another cancer patient.
When I first found out I had cancer, one of my first questions had to do with losing my hair as it was something I was so scared to lose.
I decided to get a wig early on.
As treatment progressed my hair fell out more and more.
To say that was hard is an absolute understatement.
I particularly remember one shower.
Normally showering something I do to relax, to escape and to be alone. I often find showers soothing and I tend to stay inside for at least thirty minutes. I know you're probably thinking "What can someone do inside a shower for thirty minutes?" Well, to be honest, I sit on the floor and enjoy the hot pressure on my back. I reflect and I enjoy the peacefulness of the water hitting the marble floor.
However, this shower sucked as the first strands of hair began to fall.
At first, I thought, "Okay, this doesn't seem so bad, hopefully it will stay like this," but it soon turned into "OMG, my hair is coming out with each step I take!!"
I knew this would be an emotional experience because since my diagnosis I was anticipating this day.
When the doctor said, "you have cancer," I immediately asked, "Well does that mean I'll lose my hair too?"
My hair fell out exponentially. It went from little cute strands to thick scary clumps.
I noticed more and more that I can no longer wait because there will soon be no more hair on my head.
I couldn't watch this anymore, it was too emotionally painful for me.
I decided it was time to shave my hair with the support of my siblings: Andrea & Mike, Harley & Linds, and my fiancé John of course!
Har and Ang also shaved/cut their hair and we turned a shitty experience into a really cool and fun one (click here to watch).
As of right now, I feel pretty comfortable in my own skin and I can only hope that it stays this way.
I pray that I can continue to wake up each morning and feel okay being bald.
Anyways, if you ask me, bald is the new beautiful.
Read more at Lindsey's blog, How to have fun with cancer.
