Putting on your Wig

1. Determine the front and back of the wig; there should be a label at the back

2. Once your hair has fallen out, you need to know where your hairline was and where the wig should sit

3. Use the four-finger rule: place your pinky at your brow bone and your index finger will indicate where the wig should sit

4. Put your wig on your head and find the side tabs on either side and align the tabs with your temples

5. Expose your ears

It was in the middle of a day doing something I love — golfing — that I finally had to admit to myself that something was wrong. I couldn’t even swing the club — the pain in my back had become unbearable. I went to get it checked out, and soon what I had already known deep down was confirmed: my breast cancer had returned, spreading to my bones. 

Now, at 54, I’m facing a stage 4 diagnosis. I’ll be on treatment for the rest of my life. But here’s the thing — I’m not one to dwell on doom and gloom. As a Christian, I believe I’ll eventually go to heaven and have an eternal life. In the meantime, I’m determined to live life with grace, strength, and, most importantly, gratitude.

My cancer journey began in September 2020, during the height of the pandemic. I had noticed a lump in my breast and, after some tests, received the diagnosis that no one wants to hear: stage 2 breast cancer. I soon found out that I actually had cancer on both sides, which my doctor said wasn’t common. I always said, “It is what it is.” I worked for an insurance company, so I knew my odds for this type of thing. And two of my maternal relatives had breast cancer, so it wasn’t really a shock.

The treatments were tough— surgery, double-dose chemotherapy, and radiation. I was off work for a year and a half and was grateful to my workplace for their support, including offering everything I needed to make my time off as comfortable as possible. I was also so grateful to live in a place like Toronto, where so many supports are available.

I joined several Look Good Feel Better (LGFB) workshops, which were online during COVID, and they were so helpful. They helped me feel more like myself again, especially after losing my hair. I learned how to wear wigs and scarves, and how to take care of my skin. 

After months of treatment, I was relieved when my treatment ended in May 2021. Life started to feel a little more normal again, but my cancer had been aggressive and deep down I knew there was always a possibility it could return.

When it did, I decided to go back to the Philippines, where I’m originally from, to visit my parents before I started treatment. Their health wasn’t good and they weren’t able to travel. It was so good to see them and to connect. While I was in Asia, I also went to Japan and ate a lot of sushi. And when I came back, I was ready to dive into a new round of treatments.

During my recurrence, I also signed up with LGFB for a second time, but this time for the skincare & cosmetics workshop. I really enjoyed getting to attend the workshop at Sunnybrook Hospital — it felt so much more personal. And I was impressed that they gave me custom skincare and makeup recommendations based on my East Asian skin type. Everybody’s skin is so different, so this really stood out.

Looking good became much more important to me this second time around as well. When I first had cancer, it was during COVID, and no one could go out. But now the world is open again, and I want to be out and about. And for me, if I don’t look well, I don’t want to go out. When I look well, I feel well, and then I’m more likely to go out and socialize, which in turn helps me feel emotionally better. It’s like a cycle — a positive, uplifting cycle.

I choose to focus on the positive. As I move forward in life, my faith reminds me that life here is temporary. Whatever the future holds, I know I’m not alone.
 

One question everyone may have as they begin their cancer treatment is ‘what are the side effects of my cancer treatment?’ The truth is, is that, while there are many common side effects from chemo, radiation, immunotherapy and drugs, your treatment experience will be different from anyone else. So, what’s ‘normal’? Your medical team may give you a booklet on what to expect, but the reality is, there is no ‘normal’.

Hair loss, fatigue, constipation, diarrhea, headache, nausea are all common side effects from cancer treatment. But you may also be dealing with loss of balance, strength and coordination. Others experience nerve tingling, “burning” or numbness. It’s also possible that you may not have any of these side effects. Your reaction to your treatment is as individual as your diagnosis itself.

In the past, a good patient was often described as someone who kept questions to a minimum, who followed all the advice that their healthcare professional provided, who didn’t complain or voice their concerns, and didn’t speak out about something they didn’t understand. Over the years, medical professionals have begun to realize that their patients are individuals, with minds of their own and ideas and questions about their own healthcare.

Enter, Dr. Margaret Fitch, a professor at the University of Toronto with a background in nursing and expertise in oncology and the psychosocial and emotional side of cancer. Dr. Fitch identifies the difference between ‘person-centered’ and ‘patient centered’ care. Your care is a partnership. Doctors, nurses and social workers bring knowledge and expertise, but you are the expert on you and your personal experience. Person-centered care calls on medical professionals to listen, work in partnership with you and to better understand what your life is like and to pay close attention to how any suggestions made may impact you.

Dr. Fitch offers some important take aways to help you in your efforts to ensure your care is ‘person-centered’.

Embrace Your Right to Ask Questions: It’s crucial to remember that you have the right to ask questions about your care and treatment. Even if it’s difficult to speak up, your health and well-being are paramount. Take time at home to write down your questions when you’re relaxed, and bring them to your appointments. Don’t hesitate to be firm and confident in asking for the information you need.

Utilize All Available Resources: While your time with your physician is limited, don’t hesitate to ask a nurse or another healthcare professional for additional support. Healthcare teams often work together, and they can help ensure that your concerns are addressed. It’s okay to use multiple strategies to get the information and support you need.

Understand That “Normal” Doesn’t Mean “Okay”: If you’re told that certain side effects or feelings are normal, it’s important to recognize that this doesn’t mean you have to accept them without support. There is help available, and you don’t have to navigate these challenges alone. Speak up about what you’re experiencing and ask about the resources and services that can provide relief.

Recognize the Uniqueness of Your Experience: Cancer is not just one disease, but many, each with its own treatments and side effects. What you go through may be completely different from someone else’s experience, even if the diagnosis sounds similar. Don’t feel pressured to compare your journey to others; instead, focus on what you need and seek out the right support for your specific situation.

Explore Your Options: The treatment and support options available to you are diverse. Whether it’s joining a group, seeking one-on-one counseling, or trying different therapies, it’s essential to find what works best for you. Don’t be afraid to explore different approaches until you find the one that feels right.

Stay Informed About New Treatments: Medical advancements, like targeted therapies, are constantly evolving. These treatments can be more precise and may reduce some of the more challenging side effects associated with traditional chemotherapy. Keep the conversation open with your healthcare team about new options that may be available to you.

Value Your Individuality: Remember, your journey is uniquely yours. While it’s helpful to hear others’ experiences, what works for someone else may not be the best fit for you. Trust in your instincts, ask for the information you need, and choose the path that feels most supportive to your individual needs and circumstances.

In Episode 2 of “Facing Cancer Together,” you will hear from several women undergoing treatment, each with their own unique version of ‘normal.’ Additionally, Dr. Fitch delves into the concept of ‘person-centered care,’ offering deeper insights into this compassionate approach to treatment. Tune in for a compelling discussion that highlights the diverse experiences of these women, the importance of personalized care and how you can advocate for yourself during your own cancer journey.